{"id":4121,"date":"2023-06-17T13:17:28","date_gmt":"2023-06-17T17:17:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/groundedtherapist.com\/?p=4121"},"modified":"2023-06-19T13:42:26","modified_gmt":"2023-06-19T17:42:26","slug":"how-to-cultivate-gratitude-and-break-free-from-the-comparison-trap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/groundedtherapist.com\/how-to-cultivate-gratitude-and-break-free-from-the-comparison-trap\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Cultivate Gratitude and Break Free From the Comparison Trap"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"video-embed\"><div class=\"video-embed\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Forget comparisons, be grateful\" width=\"200\" height=\"113\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/3gS4tvkw2wQ?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">really<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> easy to fall into the comparison trap\u2026 That place where we\u2019re constantly measuring ourselves against others and usually feeling pretty inadequate.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span id=\"citation1text\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether it\u2019s in our personal or professional lives, comparisons have a way of sneaking into our subconscious and affecting our self-esteem. Social media doesn\u2019t help, of course<\/span><a href=\"#citation1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014we might know we\u2019re only seeing carefully curated highlight reels of other people\u2019s lives or accomplishments, but it can be tough to remember that, especially if we\u2019re already feeling low.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span id=\"citation2text\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We\u2019ve got to break free, right? We\u2019ll always run into opportunities for social comparison; really, we\u2019re hardwired for it.<\/span><a href=\"#citation2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> So how can we keep it from impacting our sense of self-worth?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Great question! It starts with understanding why we compare ourselves to others in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Where Does the Need for Comparison Come From?<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span id=\"citation3text\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Social comparison is a natural part of human behavior. In fact, it\u2019s how we evaluate ourselves and our own abilities, and how we come to feel a sense of belonging within our own social groups\u2026 According to Leon Festinger and his 1954 Social Comparison Theory, anyway.<\/span><a href=\"#citation3\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(He was probably right.)<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So if social comparison is normal, shouldn\u2019t it be okay?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, yes\u2014to a degree. It gets tricky when that comparison defines our self-worth and hinders our personal growth and sense of fulfillment.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Downside of Social Comparison<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While comparisons can sometimes motivate us, they often leave us feeling inadequate and unfulfilled. Have you ever achieved a goal, only to then find it lacking because someone else achieved something different or seemingly better?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How often has your joy or pride in your accomplishment been short-lived because you feel like you need to immediately move onto the next thing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can wind up in a never-ending loop quicker than you might think. And inside of it, you\u2019ll struggle to ever feel \u201cgood enough.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This can take a significant toll on our mental health, in general, and on our ability to feel motivated to reach our goals. After all, who wouldn\u2019t feel anxious or burnt out chasing some impossible social standard when the goalposts are always moving?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There\u2019s an alternative, friend.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cultivating Gratitude to the Rescue!<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know, I know\u2014you\u2019ve heard about the importance of gratitude a million times already. Maybe you\u2019ve bought the journal or committed to writing down three things you\u2019re thankful for in a note on your phone every night. Maybe it didn\u2019t stick.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But here\u2019s why gratitude is so important when it comes to comparison: put simply, it\u2019s <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">real<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It takes into account the opportunities you\u2019ve had and the honestly-pretty-cool things you\u2019ve already managed to accomplish.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It gives you the space to think about what you\u2019ve actually done and experienced, rather than dwelling on all of the \u201ccoulds\u201d or \u201cshoulds.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So next time you\u2019re scrolling aspirational content on social media (or listening to your aunt list all of your cousin\u2019s accomplishments), try this mindset shift, instead:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Stay present and grateful.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Instead of feeling deflated by what others have accomplished, focus in on your own journey. Take stock of your achievements and the things you\u2019ve felt proud of\u2014chances are, they\u2019re more significant than you\u2019re giving them credit for. Find gratitude for the progress you\u2019ve made and the experiences that have shaped who you are.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Set meaningful goals. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t bother with goals that others have identified, either for them <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">or<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for you. Set goals that align with your values and passions. Identify what matters to you and work toward those things.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Limit social media consumption.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Social media is awesome, insofar as it\u2019s actually <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">adding<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to your life. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok are breeding grounds for all kinds of social comparison. Pay attention to how you feel when you\u2019re scrolling\u2014unfollow any accounts that trigger comparison or make you feel bad about yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Celebrate others\u2019 accomplishments.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> When you feel a twinge of jealousy, make an intentional effort to switch it up and think in terms of congratulations, instead. Remind yourself that feeling happy for someone else doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t also celebrate what you\u2019ve accomplished. Work to foster a community of encouragement and collaboration for yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Embrace Your Own Journey<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Comparison may be deeply ingrained in our culture, but it doesn&#8217;t have to define our lives. By recognizing the negative impact of constant comparison, staying present, setting meaningful goals, limiting social media exposure, and celebrating others&#8217; successes, we can break free from the comparison trap and embrace <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">our<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> unique journey.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And, of course, if you feel overwhelmed by these negative feelings of comparison, therapy can help. <a href=\"https:\/\/groundedtherapist.com\/connect\/\">Reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner<\/a> for guidance along the way.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>CITATIONS<\/b><br \/>\n<a href=\"#citation1text\"><span id=\"citation1\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fppm0000047\">https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fppm0000047<\/a><\/span><br \/>\n<a href=\"#citation2text\"><span id=\"citation2\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1093\/oso\/9780190629113.003.0017\">https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1093\/oso\/9780190629113.003.0017<\/a><\/span><br \/>\n<a href=\"#citation3\"><span id=\"citation3\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.bahaistudies.net\/asma\/selective_exposure-wiki.pdf#page=18\"> http:\/\/www.bahaistudies.net\/asma\/selective_exposure-wiki.pdf#page=18<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s really easy to fall into the comparison trap\u2026 That place where we\u2019re constantly measuring ourselves against others and usually feeling pretty inadequate.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s in our personal or professional lives, comparisons have a way of sneaking into our subconscious and affecting our self-esteem. Social media doesn\u2019t help, of course1\u2014we might know we\u2019re only seeing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How To Cultivate Gratitude and Break Free From the Comparison Trap - The Grounded Therapist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Break free from the comparison trap and embrace your unique journey. 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